SORRY MOM & DAD: If you ain’t bein’ hated on, you ain’t doin’ BLEEP

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First Posted: 1/27/2014

The other day I was lying in bed thinking excessively dirty thoughts when I was interrupted by the sound of a Facebook alert from my phone. I received a message from a 17-year-old girl who accused me of being at fault for the reason people in their 20s think it is acceptable to get drunk. As much as I would be honored to be able to say I played a role in putting Scranton on the map for being named the drunkest city in America after New Year’s, I know I am not that important.

“I am quivering with anger right now,” she felt the need to rant because, according to her, I was ruining her chances of becoming a successful teenage motivational speaker since anyone who reads my column will not want to listen to her morals. When she put me down by saying, “Smart people learn from other’s mistakes, stupid people learn from thir own,” I started to wonder if she was a producer for “Teen Mom 2.”

Someone like that is called a HATER. We’ll all get one at some point in our lives, some of us more than others, and here are eight GREAT reasons to have them!

1. You have something they want.

Clearly, my hater wanted an audience of Millennials listening to what she had to say. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have been so mad that I have one.

2. It validates you’re doing something right.

The difference between winners and losers is that winners do things losers are just not willing to do. So, if you have something someone else wants, it means you were willing to do something they weren’t willing to do. Keep that chin up when hated on; you’re obviously doing something right.

3. Haters bring attention.

There is no such thing as bad publicity. Whenever someone hates on you, your fresh new kicks, your business, your dreams, etc., it brings attention to it and makes whatever is being hated on appear more important than it is.

4. They keep you motivated.

Haters will always be on the sidelines cheering on failure to your game of success. They’ll be there when you forget what you’re fighting for. Utilize their hate and serve it as a dish of reminders of your goals.

5. They keep you grounded.

Once you reach success, it is easier than you think for your accomplishments to get to your head. Haters help keep things in perspective by reminding you there’s always room to do better, be better, and that not everyone will think you’re the best thing since sliced goat cheese.

6. If you’re hated, you’re not “basic.”

Haters hate on people who have the balls to be original. Having a hater means you aren’t like all the other “basic” bitches in the world who still quote “Mean Girls,” have a tattoo that means something poetic in a foreign language, and pimp out cars such as Sunfires, Civics, or Evos.

7. They prove your strength.

“Fight Club” author Chuck Palahniuk said it best: “It is easy to attack and destroy an act of creation. It is much more difficult to perform one.” Having someone hate on something you do proves you are on a level they’re not.

8. If you ain’t bein’ hated on, you ain’t doin’ BLEEP!

In the words of Winston Churchill: “You’ve got enemies? GOOD. That means you’ve stood up for something in your life.”