Ice queens and drama queens

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First Posted: 4/28/2014

Disney’s “Frozen” popularized the phrase, “Conceal, don’t feel.” Although this is a movie directed at children, this mindset is echoed in today’s adult society. We live in a world where showing emotion is often construed as a sign of weakness or a desperate cry for attention. No one wants to be labeled a drama queen, but they also don’t want to be seen as a heartless ice queen. When it comes to public displays of emotion, how much is too much?

I am the first to admit: I wear my heart on my sleeve. Within a minute of meeting me, you will know exactly how I feel, what I think, and who I am. Recently, I have tried harboring more of that “ice queen” persona. As a grown-up, we are expected to put on a brave face, smile, and kick the world’s proverbial ass in a great pair of heels and not let anyone or anything bring us down.

So I tried. I was the captain of my ship and sailing off into the sunset. I have been putting on my smile and taking every obstacle in life with a grain of salt.

What they don’t tell you is how to navigate the choppy seas, because I have also been going home and crying into my pillow in the privacy of my home when the world outside my window has been too much to handle.

When did we mold ourselves into a world where it is not OK to show it when something upsets you? Emotions should not be a sign of weakness; they should be a sign of humanity.

My experiment failed. I am not the ice queen. I am the girl who cried during the 13 times I saw “Titanic” in the theater. Yes, I said 13 times. I was in the 8th grade and I am still learning almost 20 years later how to be king (well, queen) of the world, and I still vow to never let go. I get emotional when I hear the “Christmas Shoes” song on the radio. I don’t care who you are – if you don’t get emotional over this song, then you also probably hate puppies and sunshine and have no soul. I cry, I yell, I laugh, and I get emotional.

Maybe putting on our big girl panties and dealing with life is what we are supposed to do, but I am still that little girl on the inside who is going to cry if I scrape my knee when I fall. I am not a drama queen; I am not an ice queen. I am just me, Melissa, for better or worse.