Sign Language Your Weekly Constellation Prize

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First Posted: 10/30/2014

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Each astrological sign is a sort of reaction to the one preceding it. Thus, in many ways, they’re like opposites. But because they’ve just been there, each tribe has a pretty good understanding of the one before theirs on that good old cosmic wheel. This is why your chief allies can be found among the Sagittarian tribe this week; they thoroughly understand what you’re up to (possibly even better than you do), and they approve—for once. Although your methods differ, your potential to complement each other and be teammates is tremendous at the moment. They get you, and you respect them. It’s a brilliant combo. Try it.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

You Sagittarians are at your best when you manage to adhere to a strict (and personal) moral code. However, requiring or expecting the same for those around you only brings out the worst in you. Very few can keep up with your degree of honor and honesty; judging the masses who fall short, despite their best efforts, only deprives you of their entertaining, fun, and often educational company, and them of your brilliance and stunning example. Get the equation? Judge others from a place of righteousness, and you beget a lose-lose situation. Live and let live, however, is a win-win all the way.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

I’m about to finish another immense book. After over a thousand pages of text, I find myself, incongruously, slowing down—I’m reluctant for this long journey to be over. You, too, are ironically down-shifting as you approach the finish line, for similar reasons. However, unlike me, you’re actually in a kind of race, and losing momentum now could be disastrous. Kick it back into high gear, my dear. The race will end at the same time whether you go fast or slow, so wouldn’t you rather be in first place than last?

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You won’t be cut any slack. You won’t receive the benefit of any doubts. What you will get, however, you’ll have worked for, hard, and earned, righteously. Let this enhance your enjoyment of the many pleasures this week will nevertheless offer, instead of highlighting the handful of opportunities you missed out on. Don’t feel too sorry for yourself for not being luckier, or subject to lower standards. Them’s the breaks. Could it possibly help to learn that most of those you know consider you quite lucky, and would switch places with you in a flash? Perhaps when you realize how many people are dying to get into your supposedly unlucky shoes, you’ll appreciate standing in them yourself.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

People are constantly clamoring for you to commit. They don’t get that simple decisions in their world are immensely complex ones in yours. Consequently, they get frustrated as you debate and dither and decide for hours, days, or weeks at a time, and even more annoyed when you change your mind ten minutes after your “final” decision. You can understand their aggravation, but it doesn’t help. Luckily, this week’s astrological influences will help, allowing you to be more decisive, direct, and dominant than usual. Take advantage, and give these guys what they’ve been asking for, and then some.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

You feel like the center of the universe at the moment, and with good reason; you’re at least the focal point of your own metaphorical solar system. Don’t be alarmed when the orbits of some of the planets rotating around you start to decay this week, however. These gassy giants and magma-cored satellites are still (mostly) under your charming sway. They’ve just responded to the passage of a wandering comet, in the form of another charismatic character. His or her minor gravity can’t possibly threaten your brilliance, ultimately, only steer one or two of your most intimate buddies temporarily off-course. Resist the urge to tyrannically rein them back in; let your wandering peeps come back on their own. They will.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Voting was one great way to make your voice heard and try to shape the world you live in (I hope you did). However, this week will present several opportunities to do more of the same (although perhaps on a smaller, more personal scale). Not bothering is like saying, “I don’t care,” and giving those in power free license to walk all over you. Don’t be a doormat. Wasting opportunities like these is a crime against yourself. Don’t be your own mugger. Keep your wallet and your pride intact and speak up.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

What’s this? A Gemini not being understood? That’s almost unheard of. Because of your ability to see things from, and express, different perspectives, people rarely have trouble getting what you’re saying. But right now the confusion lies in your very versatility—it’s how you see an issue that’s in question, not the issue itself. The simplest solution, naturally, is rejecting one whole side of your perspective and simply and firmly committing to just one view. Screw that, though. The more complex (and, I think, better) way is laying it all out on the table. Take the time to explain, in as much detail as necessary, the big picture. If they can stay with you from start to finish, you’ll have earned yourself a staunch and superb new ally. If they lack that kind of patience, well, screw ‘em.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Mirror, mirror, on the wall… Perversely, when you don’t like someone, nine times out of ten, it’s because they remind you of something you dislike in yourself. It’s distasteful looking at this negatively distorted reflection, so you understandably shy away in horror and revulsion. The problem is, you often fail to notice how much this awful person is actually, terrifyingly, just like you. The cure for this animosity towards them is a little much-needed, long-overdue self-acceptance. Be kinder to yourself; you’ll end up being kinder to those poor fellows who probably need a little compassion. Or vice versa: You could start with being gentle with them and end up being much more gentle with yourself. Either way you work it, it works both ways.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Thank goodness the sun has moved out of that diplomatic and overly careful sign, Libra, and ventured into the badass, no-holds-barred, wild frontier territory of Scorpio. That’s much more your style; weirdly enough—even though you’re coming from quite different places—on the surface, members of the Leo and Scorpio tribes can appear very similar. Thus you ought to feel right at home over the next few weeks, utterly at ease inside your skin. This, besides being quite pleasant and intoxicating on its own, has the thrilling side benefit of making you much more attractive to those around you. I won’t counsel you not to take advantage of this. In fact, I’d be quite disappointed if you didn’t.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

This week you can see in infrared. At first, you may simply notice that your focus is way out of whack, that you’re having trouble looking at (and thus doing) things in your usual fashion. However, if you’re patient, you’ll realize that this unconventional mode of viewing the world has its advantages. Yes, it disrupts your routine most effectively. But it also reveals much that’s usually invisible. Discovering these heretofore hidden facets of your relationships and general existence may or may not help you, ultimately. But one thing’s certain: knowing about them sure couldn’t hurt.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

You might as well be the family dog this week. You’re just as wordlessly subject to the moods and whims of the people around you, especially those you live with. Your spiritual laryngitis occurs because you’ve learned (or been trained) that bringing up issues often makes things worse, not better. Before you start passive-aggressively shitting in the corners instead of bringing up what’s bugging you, I wanted to mention that this week is better than most for raising (and resolving) conflicts, without falling into the trap of aggravating them. Ditch the leash-tugging and the puppy-dog eyes. They’re not working. Open your mouth and speak.