Pink ovaries and blue balls: fact or fiction

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First Posted: 11/3/2014

This past Saturday night I was lounging around my apartment sipping on a glass of red cat and watching an episode of Mythbusters. As I finished my glass of vino I watched as they debunked a myth about an airplane toilet creating enough suction to make you stuck in the john.

As I refilled my glass, I switched over the channel and ironically the movie Urban Legend was on. I took it as a sign that I needed to debunk some legends of my own. In true girl talk fashion I decided to take to the phone and text every guy I know and ask my question: Blue balls, fact or fiction?

Every girl that has ever read an issue of Cosmo will tell you that the magazine says its fiction. There is no such thing, but guys everywhere sounded off that it’s true. Out of the 15 guys asked, 3 said that it is not a real thing, while the other 12 claimed it is very real and very painful.

Here are some examples of the responses I received to my very basic question of fact or fiction:

Response #1

FACT: It is an extra sensitive feeling that you’re left with that doesn’t go away quickly. Not to mention, the sheer depression of not getting what you wanted.

Response #2

FICTION: We told this to girls in high school, any guys still using this line are pathetic.

Response #3

FACT: There is a distinct feeling of joy based on chemical reactions that occurs when men ejaculate. When there is a reason that something prevents you from doing so, especially abruptly, your body feels sluggish and your body physically craves the finish. I literally spend hours thinking about finishing and doing so after you get soft is awkward and uncomfortable.

Response #4

FACT: This is totally true. It’s the best possible form of revenge. You feel anxiety, restlessness and you are feeling incompetent and insignificant. Blue balls is a mental game and is always done with intent.

Response #5

FICTION: It’s overblown, the science behind it doesn’t support popular opinion, there’s no serious pain, no damage can happen, any discomfort can be relieved by jerking off or just losing the erection. It’s mainly just used as an excuse by guys to get girls to finish them off. If a guy says he has blue balls the translation is “man I really want to finish and am mentally frustrated that I haven’t yet so take care of me”

Response #6

FACT: My nuts hurt and I get a stomach ache.

Response #7

FACT: There is no color change, the term blue is just because they are sad. There is a lot of pain from the built up pressure though.

Response #8

FICTION: Guys don’t like to feel discomfort and we are lazy, if it really was painful, we would just finish the job ourselves, it’s just more fun when you do it.

So I guess my research is inconclusive on this. I can’t debunk the myth. I guess my resolution is just to make sure if I start a job, I finish it or start telling people that pink ovaries are a real thing so we can make sure we get our just desserts too. Just a hint to remember ladies, desserts is spelled with 2 “s” because you always can go back for seconds.