Holiday party guidelines

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First Posted: 12/16/2014

Holiday party season is upon us. It’s that time of year we put on little red or black dresses, shoes that we likely can’t walk in, and do our best to not be the topic of discussion at tomorrow’s water cooler pow wow. So how do we pull off looking more like the lady of the hour, and less like a girl who twerks for Wal-Mart gift cards?

Leggings: Leggings under a dress can provide you with a warm, comfortable alternative to bare legs or pantyhose that will no doubt get snagged on the car door just as you arrived at the party. Your best bet for leggings is to do a stress test. Hold them up to the light and pull them as if your curves were pulling them in every direction. If you can see through them, keep in mind that your hot pink polka dot thong might look hot to your man, but do you want your boss’s opinion on it when he can see it through your leggings?

Ugly Christmas Sweaters: Be silly. Make a statement. This is not the type of party to try to be the sexy girl. I hate to break it to you sweetheart, but there is no way to sexy up a Christmas sweater. You might as well doll it up with lights, garland and bows and be as obnoxious as the rest of us, it will make for great pictures later and if you are buying it at your local Salvation Army store, you are helping a great cause.

Holiday Dresses: Watch your hemline. Santa has enough hos. Christmas is your time to put on a fabulous red dress and let your inner Sasha Fierce out (according to Beyonce, we all have an inner one) if you’re going to a holiday dinner for work, it is very tasteless to have your bum poking out, add 3 more inches. Keep in mind that while wearing your stilettos will make your calves and bum look amazing, they also create the optical illusion that your legs are longer and your dress is shorter. If you are looking for that big raise in the new year, being the trashy girl at the holiday party may get you some recognition from the company vice president, but if you look like they should be handing you singles instead of writing up your promotion, you may want to consider that extra inch of fabric.

Know your limits: When there is an open bar and your company is footing the bill, remember to keep your tolerance level in check. Do you really want to be the tell-tale drunk girl at the holiday party? You might think it’s all fun and games on Friday night, but remember that you have to report to these people and make eye contact with them on Monday morning. So get off the table, put your shoes back on and stop asking Mike from accounting to rendezvous in the bathroom in 15 minutes.

Following these simple guidelines should help you successfully navigate all of your office holiday parties this season. So go out, have fun, but be safe, smart and Sasha. Happy holidays!