First Posted: 7/8/2014

There are some things in life I will never be able to figure out: the Rubik’s Cube, false eyelash application, and Nickelback fans (just to name a few), but the big question mark in my life at this moment is the male psyche.

If you ask any guy, he will be the first to tell you that men are simple creatures and are easy to figure out. They know what they want and when they want it. But when a guy is sending me mixed signals instead of mixed drinks, what is a girl to assume?

Where is the line drawn between figuring out if he is playing hard to get or if he is just not that into you? It would be so much easier if guys would just be blunt about it. Maybe I am frustrated because I am a very forward person and I let people know upfront whether or not I am interested. I do not just flirt with someone, then change my mind or act like it never happened. I think it’s courteous to not lead people on, but maybe that’s just me. I guess I am old-fashioned?

For the past couple of months, I have been talking to a guy via Twitter, Facebook, and texting. He is very handsome; we get along great and have tons of stuff in common. Unfortunately, every time I try making plans to hang out with him, it never pans out or he just stops returning my messages. He will eventually message me back a few days later as if the event never occurred and just flirt a little or make a joke out of my confusion with the situation. It feels like an emotional mambo: one step forward, two steps back, a twist, a turn, and then a shimmy to the side. The mixed signals are frustrating, and it is starting to give me a complex. I am not a happy girl about this and, truth be told, I have two left feet and am in no mood to dance.

I am getting too old for these games. I am at a point in my life where I know what I want and what is worth my time. I should probably start taking my own advice and move on. Certainly this “friendly flirtationship” should not be so one-sided, and I guess if he was legitimately interested in me, he would put forth the effort.

I am worth the effort. To quote Tori Amos, “Girls, you’ve got to know when it’s time to turn the page.” So I am putting up my white flag of surrender and saying, “I quit.” It is time to move on to the next chapter in my life and stop chasing the things that refuse to be caught.

You may be the roadrunner, but I am done being the coyote.