Dating app stories exposed
First Posted: 1/20/2015
How did you meet the last person you had sex with?
How did you meet the last person you fell in love with?
For Ashlyn Hurrey of Jessup, Anthony Brzenski of Taylor, Jacqueline Atkinson of Nanticoke, Peter Kolacz of Nanticoke, and an anonymous Emmy-winning television producer with an unbelievable story about steak and her vagina, dating apps were their source in finding a significant other for sexual pleasure or a love-filled relationship.
Two decades after the taboo dating alternative of meeting people online took off, using the Internet and social media to meet a potential significant other has evolved into an acceptable practice through dating apps such as Tinder, OK Cupid and Grindr, to name a few, that are easily accessed on your phone.
Almost everybody has a story about someone they talked to on a dating app, or knows someone who does. Some are positive with a happy ending; others end with wondering, “What the fuck just happened?”
Plenty of fish in the sea
Jacqueline Atkinson knows firsthand that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but when it comes to finding the perfect guy, you have to kiss some gnarly toads along the way.
No, the Westboro Baptist Church’s worst nightmare of people marrying their pets once gay marriage became legalized didn’t actually come to fruition; Atkinson used the online dating app Plenty of Fish on her quest to find Mr. Right.
“I didn’t want to do the bar scene. I didn’t want drinking to be involved with me looking for someone to date. My previous relationship was a co-worker and I wanted a way to meet someone that was outside of my circle and outside of the bar scene,” Atkinson said of her decision to give dating apps a try two years ago.
Looking for someone that was genuine and could hold a conversation, Atkinson agreed to meet with a guy she met online at the Starbucks by Montage Mountain.
“When I met him he had this Armani suit, diamond rings on his fingers, hair clicked back and he said he was a CEO of some company. He wasn’t so bad looking on the eyes, either. So we sit down and start talking and he told me I was so beautiful and that he loved my eyes and saying that he would love to take me on vacation. I was just sitting there thinking this is way too good to be true; something isn’t right here. I mean, why would this guy be single?” Atkinson said.
As Atkinson’s date thought she was looking through her pictures on her phone to show him something they were talking about, she was creeping him on Facebook to make sure he was legit.
“I couldn’t find anything though. Then he told me his sister owned a dance company out in Philly and he told me her name, so I looked her up and found him through her Facebook friends,” Atkinson said.
Once she found his profile, she decided to delay creeping on him until she got home because she didn’t want to look suspicious.
“When I got home, I was looking at his Facebook profile and I saw that he was listed as being in a relationship with some girl. I was right. It was too good to be true. I was like, ‘this poor girl’. Then I thought about how I would feel if I was her. I would want to know. I know people say you should stay out of other people’s relationships, but I had to tell her,” Atkinson said of messaging her date’s girlfriend on Facebook.
The girlfriend called her immediately.
“I told her what had happened. I told her, ‘I’m so sorry, but I think I just went on a date with your boyfriend.’ I told her that I had no idea and that nothing happened. She told me that he told her he had a stomach virus and couldn’t see her that night,” Atkinson said.
After her epic online-dating fail, Atkinson said he was ready to give up on dating apps altogether, until she got a message from a guy that would change her life forever when she worked at a mental institution.
“None of those vaginas were mine”
We don’t normally accept anonymous sources, but this one was too juicy to ignore.
“Casie” (as she wishes to be identified to secure her identity) is an Emmy-winning television producer whose busy schedule with an abundance of travel involved prevented her from meeting men the old-fashioned way, so she decided to give Tinder a chance. She met a guy she liked and after a few dates they decided to sleep together she said.
“In the middle of hooking up [on all-fours] I noticed he kinda stopped what he was doing and was behind me. I turned around and realized he had his phone out and was trying to take a photo of my hoo-haa without asking me,” Casie said.
She was able to snatch his phone (no pun intended) from his hand to make sure there wasn’t a picture of her Notorious V.A.G. saved in his picture gallery.
Going through his photos, Casie noticed a bunch of vagina photos that he took with previous hookups.
To her regret, she continued dating him.
“Two months into the relationship, I decided to take him out to a fancy steakhouse for dinner. We got lobster and filets. When his steak came he asked me to take a photo with it, so I take his phone to take the photo. Then I’m like, ‘oh, let me look at the photo to see how it came out’. Once again, when I went into his photo gallery, it showed the last few photos were sure enough vagina after vagina after vagina. None of those vaginas were mine. Nor were they ever,” Casie said.
Still to this day, the guy tries to contact her.
Closet lesbians ruin my dating life
Ashlyn Hurrey is a lesbian and proud of it.
For the past three years she has used dating apps such as Tinder, OkCupid and Brenda (strictly for lesbians) looking for love, but claims closeted lesbians in Northeastern Pennsylvania are ruining her chances at finding someone to be in a relationship with.
“I find girls all the time that I would have no idea were gay. I would find friends or people I knew on an app like Tinder or Brenda and then ask them about it and they would lie to my face. In the gay community, I find a lot of lesbians on these apps are closeted, looking for a hookup to experiment with,” Hurrey said.
As someone who is open about her sexuality, closeted lesbians piss Hurrey off.
“It makes me mad because while gay people are trying to succeed and show others that it is actually okay to be out, they’re making it seem like it’s not okay to be gay by not coming out. If they do find an openly gay girl to be with, who they won’t plan on ultimately being in a relationship with, that may be affecting my chance to be with a person that I could find to have a relationship with. Closet lesbians ruin my dating life. It makes it very difficult for me,” Hurrey said.
Still, she has met with closeted lesbians she met on a dating app.
“I’m not opposed to hooking up with a closeted lesbian because it can be a fun experience. Sometimes I am their first experience, which is a turn-on. I met one person who was closeted and we went out a few times. Since she was closeted we couldn’t go out and have that normal relationship that people can normally have. You know, like holding hands, kissing, things like that. It really aggravated me because I wanted a relationship,” Hurrey said.
She also feels her sexuality puts her at a disadvantage to finding love in general.
“I believe gay people are having such a hard time at finding someone to be in a relationship with because there is such a small gay community in northeastern PA. Gay people are just trying to get whatever they can sexually. It’s not that we don’t want to find love, it’s that we don’t feel like it’s really an option for us. I mean up until last year, it wasn’t even a possibility for gay people to even marry in Pennsylvania. We grew up thinking that the concept of marriage was something we couldn’t have,” she said.
Hurrey is still looking at Tinder and OkCupid almost every day, hoping to find someone comfortable enough with their sexuality to build a relationship with.
I had sex with a straight guy until he fell in love with me
Anthony Brzenski of Taylor was looking for a hookup with a guy on Grindr when he met Mart.
“It was just supposed to be a one-night stand. We did, but we hung out after that. When we continued to hang out, we didn’t hook up. We just talked. He told me things he said he had never told anybody else and the information he shared with me was deep. It was personal. Something you don’t just tell a guy you are hooking up with. That is when I fell in love with him,” Brzenski said.
Mart told him not to get addicted to him because he wasn’t planning on coming out of the closet.
“He said he was content with the way his life was. I was fine with that until I could tell he cared about me more than he would admit to. From the way he talked to me to the way he kissed me and the things he would share with me. It all meant something, but he wasn’t about to live life as an openly gay man,” Brzenski said.
The more they hung out, the stronger their feelings grew for each other, Brzenski said.
“It didn’t matter that we cared about each other. He even promised to not have sex with anybody else, but couldn’t be in an open relationship. He was going to live his life the way he wanted to live it, and that didn’t include me in a way that wasn’t a secret. So I had to stop talking to him. Looking back, I appreciate my time with him, because he taught me how I should be treated by a guy through the compassion he showed me while we were together. After him, I stopped using Grindr and I will never use another app like that again,” Brzenski said.
The guy your parents warn you about
Peter Kolacz was fresh out of a relationship two years ago when he decided to download a dating app after striking out at bars when looking for a relationship and wanted to explore other avenues.
“I found this girl that was so beautiful I thought she had to be a fake profile. No way was this girl single. I was so impressed with how beautiful she was that I knew I had to say something to stand out to her. So I messaged her saying, ‘I’m the guy your parents warned you about.’ I knew it was a bold move, but I didn’t think I had much to lose since I didn’t think she was a real profile anyway,” Kolacz said.
She was real.
Her name was Jacqueline Atkinson, and she was about to give up dating apps after going on a date to Starbucks with a guy who had a girlfriend.
Two years later, Kolacz and Atkinson are engaged and about to welcome a baby girl they decided to name after Gwen Stefani.
“I never thought I would find the love of my life online. I think back to even five years ago, I think our generation has really progressed in accepting different resources to meet people. Online dating in the early 2000s was so taboo. Now, people aren’t really embarrassed to say they met online,” Kolacz said.
The happy couple is proof that dating apps can work, but from there experience have some suggestions when it comes to meeting someone online, such as always meet in a public place, use your online conversations as an icebreaker to make the first date less awkward and to always be yourself or you’ll set yourself up for failure.