Let’s get real: Wedding Planning Blues

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First Posted: 3/23/2015

Dear Melissa,

I was recently engaged and am now in the process of planning my wedding. When choosing bridesmaids, I want my friends to be in the wedding because we are all very close and they have been like sisters to me throughout my life. My mother is pushing me to have family members in my bridal party instead. Her argument is that friends can come and go but family is forever. I have never been very close to most of the family and she is saying I should have a cousin from each side (mine and my fiancé) and both of our brother’s fiancés in the party. My fiancé doesn’t have a huge group of friends to have additional groomsmen so I would have to choose between friends or family, not both. I told my mom this is my wedding and it should be my choice, but it has really caused hurt, stress and bitterness now in the family. What should I do?

Embattled bride-to-be

Dear Bride-to-be,

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials. This is a very exciting, yet equally stressful time in your life and your mother should be the first to understand that. This is your day and the one time in your life where no one (except your fiancé) should have so much input into your planning that it is making you feel anything but excitement for the big day. When choosing your bridal party, choose people who are going to help you out, support you and take some of the pressure off your shoulders. If that does not include your family members, and you don’t want to offend them, perhaps suggest someone do a reading at the ceremony or have another role in your special day. Tell mom she had her wedding planning turn already and that this is on you to plan the day of your dreams! Good luck!