Oh, the joy of weekday snow days

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First Posted: 2/10/2015

Let the winter shenanigans commence. Snow days are here, my friend, and my how they’ve changed since the Jurassic Period, when I was a youngster.

Back then, I vividly recall praying to the precipitation gods a snow day . In fact, that was the era before cancellations were scrolled across our TV screens, and we would pathologically listen to the radio for closings, holding it so close to our ears that we ended up with a speaker grid impressed upon our cheek.

Every year, pretty much since the beginning of the Ice Age, it’s been cold from November through February, with snow and hail and ice and school closings and delays. We can’t predict much in this life but we can absolutely count on pesky schedule changes during the winter months.

So I ask you why is everyone so mad at the weather? I can’t swing a dead squirrel without hitting someone who is outrageously angered that the snow and cold has caused school to be delayed or canceled. Really? People – relax.

If it’s 10 degrees and the districts don’t delay school, we hear a collective outcry. If they announce a delay, we hear another combative chorus. If it snows and they have an early dismissal, I can hear the wailing form my house. If they don’t dismiss early and the snow reaches 2 inches, let the tirades begin.

Listen –I’m not a huge fan of school cancellations, myself, but I don’t type-out a diatribe about it on Facebook each day. I mean, I’d love to spend the day making snow angels and flinging myself down a hill screaming with glee. Preferably on a sled. But honestly, the only thing you can hear me scream on a snow day is: “For God’s sake. Take off those boots. You’re dripping. That salt is like acid on my hardwood. I don’t care if there’s no school! Go anyway!”

Like so much in this life, weather is non-negotiable, so let’s all agree to accept it and stop the griping. Let’s decide that the administrators of our schools are not all ding dongs and bus drivers would really prefer not to risk their lives and those of our offspring just because a late start to school in the morning messes with Mama’s schedule. I get it. It’s inconvenient and annoying, but so is hypothermia and a bus accident on Route 92.

The truth is, we live in a litigious world where we all play better safe than sorry. Yes, back on the prairie we walked to school in sub-zero temperatures while our nose hairs stuck together and snow settled around our knees. But I must have survived it all because here I am writing about it. Still, I understand the caution exhibited today.

Pretty soon it’s going to be very, very hot. Then we’ll have the legions of whiners wailing that it’s too hot to have classes in schools without air conditioning. Waaaaa. Please. Ask the girls in Afghanistan what they would do to attend a school with no air conditioning. They’d sell a kidney for higher learning, that’s what.

Bitter cold and agonizing heat; it’s our reward for living in NEPA. Mother Nature is hormonal and Old Man Winter is, well, a man. Until they learn to play nice, we just have to stop bellyaching and start making snow angels. Not a bad way to snow day.