Gwen Stefani taught me how to spell BANANAS

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First Posted: 3/18/2015

Gwen Stefani taught me how to spell bananas. That has nothing to do with this story, but it’s a fact. I challenge anyone to spell bananas without referencing Gwen Stefani.

Anyway, two years ago, I was cleaning under my bed and found a wedding gift I bought for friends. The wedding was a year-and-a-half earlier. I put it back under my bed and swore I would mail it when I left the house later that day.

Two years later, I was looking for something under my bed and found the same wedding gift. The wedding was almost four years ago. My procrastination has reached a whole new level.

When most people find a wedding gift they should have sent before the fourth wedding anniversary approaches, they either rush to the nearest post office, re-gift, or, in my case, think back to the time they nearly ended the couple’s relationship.

The gift was for my friends, Jamie and Drew. The three of us met while competing together on the ABC reality series, “I Survived a Japanese Game Show.”

We bonded over being the only three cast members that didn’t go to bed early, typically staying awake half the night laughing and drinking — to the point alcohol was banned from the show.

Since we were the only ones who knew how to have a good time and were competing on the same team, we formed an alliance that would get rid of the other contestants on our team first.

However, once alcohol was banned from the show, Jamie and Drew found something to clench on to other than a bottle of sake: each other! That’s right, my alliance fell in love, and they were not looking for group fun.

Halfway through the filming of the competition, our team was up for elimination and someone from our alliance had to face the challenge of possibly being sent home. Honoring our agreement of volunteering yourself after performing poorly once someone from our alliance would have to face elimination, Jamie agreed to challenge the virgin librarian who didn’t stand a chance.

“I know Jamie and Drew are your friends,” expressed two members of the opposting team as they cornered me before the elimination. “But you should vote them into elimination. If Jamie wins and it’s just the three of you on the team, they’ll be looking to send you home!”

Though I didn’t want to believe it, they had a point. With $250,000 at stake, I made the decision to go against my alliance and team up with the virgin librarian in sending the love birds into elimination, ultimately splitting them up.

Sorry I went against my alliance, Mom and Dad, but my airtime was in serious jeopardy.

In the end, Jamie wasn’t about to let the image of her deep-throating squid heads be Drew’s last impression. After sending him home, she was eliminated next and flew straight to see her man. Today, they’re happily married and have adorable twin boys.

The more I think about it, splitting them up helped them get closer. What’s a better wedding gift than that?

Still, I vow to finally send the wedding gift. Well, I’ll try. The picture frame with their wedding date engraved on it should make a nice fourth anniversary gift!