10 Reasons Kanye West performed while laying down

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First Posted: 2/13/2015

It may only be February, but I think it’s safe to say that I’m learning a lot about life this year.

So far, I have learned that preparing healthy meals for the entire week is a great way to waste food and stink up your refrigerator, a bottle of Pinnacle vodka gets you just as drunk when you pay for it in all nickels and that nothing celebrates four decades of comedy like a performance from Kanye West.

Like wearing condoms, I have a love/hate relationship with Kanye.

When I saw that he was going to perform on the 40th anniversary special of “Saturday Night Live”, I couldn’t help but wonder what significant moments of remembrance would cease to make time for Yeezy to perform.

Once I saw Kanye laying down on the floor while rapping, I rolled my eyes so hard that a contact lens fell out.

Even though he looked ridiculous, he was performing “Jesus Walks”, which actually reminded me why I used to think Kanye was dope. As he transitioned into “Only One”, I remembered that I hate him again. Going from “Jesus Walks” to “Only One” is like eating dinner at the fanciest restaurant in the world and then going to a soup kitchen dumpster for dessert.

Kanye’s entire presence at the celebration was unnecessary. The star-power of former cast members such as Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray, Kristin Wiig and Adam Sandler – and former guest hosts such as Taylor Swift, Justin Timberlake and Betty White – provided enough appeal to watch.

Social media exploded with people questioning not only why Kanye was there, but why he was laying down like a dickweed.

We may never get a rational answer as to why ‘Ye performed on his back, but here are 10 guesses why West performed at the “SNL” anniversary special while laying on his back:

1. The chip on his shoulder was weighing him down.

2. Kanye was paying tribute to his wife, Kim Kardashian-West, who is famous for laying on her back.

3. Kanye was paying tribute to power-bottoms everywhere since February 15 was not only the 40th anniversary of “SNL”, it was also International Bottom Day.

4. He was doing an impression of Chevy Chase having a stroke backstage. Seriously, though, did you see Chevy Chase? He needs to see a doctor.

5. Laying down was his way of saying the show was putting him to sleep.

6. He was still sad from his New York Fashion Week reviews.

7. His hemorrhoids were bothering him and he was laying down to apply pressure on his butt hole.

8. Voices in his head told him to do it.

9. He wore himself out from standing up and being heard all those times he really should have been sitting on his ass with his mouth closed.

10. He was absolutely floored that Beyoncé wasn’t there.